Hi everyone! My name is Del and I'm originally from the Philippines, now residing in Michigan, USA. I just moved here 6 months ago to be with the love of my life, who is now my husband. I'm a very new closet "witch", and if I were to label myself as anything, it would probably be Eclectic Wiccan and Christian. I'm just here to share my story, and I would love to hear yours, too. It's a lengthy post; almost a short novel, I know. But I'm not forcing anyone to read anything of mine. I just wanted to put this out there because this is years of my life that I haven't been able to share with just anyone else; and I want to start being more open. I just recently realized that my "witchy" journey had already started before I even knew anything about the Craft: during my childhood. I grew up in a very Roman Catholic family and community, so every "magickal" experience I had, I attributed to the Holy Trinity. From kindergarten to senior high, I'd attended Catholic school for girls run by nuns. I went to church, sang the holy songs with all my heart, and gave my offerings to the altar religiously. But my spirituality has never been limited to my religion. While it wasn't the norm in my community, I have always acknowledged a powerful spiritual connection between myself and nature. To me, being in nature's presence was in itself a solemn prayer. I would sit in the garden and just take in everything around me, and I would feel absolutely sublime basking in nature's mystical beauty. I would look up at the branches of a tall tree and marvel at its wonders; and watch the clear water flow in the river, mesmerized by its purity and force. And then as I got older, my connection to the "powers" of the universe had manifested into something entirely different.
(I just had to take this photo of a beautiful morning sky, view from my apartment) I started having prophetic dreams when I was a teenager. One of the strongest I can recall was the dream I had of my 6th grade Geography + History + Civics teacher. She was one of my absolute favorites growing up. Perhaps with my strong admiration I made an equally solid connection with her, too. One night, I dreamt of her walking the hallways in a matching navy blue top and pants, all covered with intricate and unique black and gray patterns. It was something I'd never seen or imagined before. True enough, when I saw her the next day she was wearing exactly that. Another dream I can recall was that of my female cat, whom I called Curly because of her curled up tail. One night, I dreamt of her nursing three kittens: one white, another an orange tabby, and the third one calico. She was pregnant at the time, and a couple of weeks later, she gave birth to three kittens indeed; all showing the exact colors I saw in my dream. Later on when I was 16, I dreamt of all my would-be significant others. In the dream they formed a straight line in front of me and I met them one by one, before they turned away, transformed into bats, and flew into the sky (odd, right? I still don't know what it means). I saw their faces but didn't get their names - except for my first love. The dream revealed his name to me and afterwards it pretty much became a personal mantra as I hoped it would manifest, but I never spoke of it to anyone. Soon after, a friend of mine introduced me to a guy who was interested to meet me. And sure enough, he was the guy from my dream. At one point in our relationship I actually told him, "I knew I loved you before I met you". Haha! Oh, I could go on and on about my prophetic dreams but I already know this post is long enough as it is. So, moving on. I've also had serious experiences with realizing my manifestations or visions. One day in 7th grade, we were hit with a really bad typhoon. At the time I was already in class and my friends and I watched the rain pour, trees swaying in the tempest. For a few moments I spaced out, captivated by a vision: a huge tree uprooted by the wind, falling onto the ground. I quickly dismissed the negative thought as I didn't want to "send it out" into the universe. And yet, a few minutes later, one of my classmates arrived, apologizing for being late. She said they had to take a detour because a felled tree had blocked the road. I immediately felt that there was a connection between my vision and what happened. Maybe there was, or maybe I was just imagining something that was already likely to happen. Nevertheless, after that experience I started listening to my intuition more seriously. But apparently, not seriously enough... On December 3, 2008, my then-boyfriend was driving me home from a baptism we attended. There was a bit of traffic on the road, and at one point while the cars stalled I felt this really strong urge to make a stopover somewhere, maybe get a drink or a snack, just anything to get off the highway for a while. I had a really, really powerful feeling that something bad was going to happen if we didn't delay even just for a couple of minutes. But I didn't listen to this gut feeling... And yes, shortly afterwards we got into a car accident and my life was forever changed.
(One of my numerous x-rays. My left femur was shattered and my right ankle, above, was broken. I chose to show this one because it's the least shocking of them all, haha!)
After the accident, my perspective on "magick" and spirituality changed. It served as a wake-up call to the true potential of my "connection" with the universe. I became more cautious about envisioning anything, and more paranoid about my nightmares. I did not adapt any means of control for whatever "powers" surrounded me. And then: I came to America. During the first few weeks of my stay here, I used prophetic card reading just to have fun and bond with my new family and friends. I utilized a technique with regular playing cards taught to me by my father before he died, which he learned from his mother. At first it was just for laughs, until it felt...different. The cards started "speaking" to me. I would get "feelings" or bursts of words and phrases associated with a card, most of which turning out to be accurate. Everyone was freaked out a little bit, including myself! Growing up Catholic, Tarot was always deemed "evil" and "taboo", so it's still hard to deviate from that mindset sometimes. Eventually, the readings got so powerful that my mother-in-law would tell everyone I meet to get a reading (Haha!). Of course, it didn't always work. There would even be times when the cards would be laid out in front of me and I just felt... blank... empty. Nevertheless, coming to America somehow opened up something in me. I feel like the "connection" here is at least twice as powerful as in the Philippines. This makes me happy, but also afraid...
(The Queens from the deck I use for readings. If the person I'm reading for is female, one of these four would be at the center of the spread.) My fear comes from my strong belief that this "connection" can open me up towards the good, but also the bad. I say this from experience because I've encountered at least 2 negative energies or spirits while I was here. The first one was from when my husband and his friend showed me one of the most haunted places on earth, Mouth Cemetery, here in Michigan. When we came home from that trip, I couldn't sleep for the next 3 nights. I felt like something was watching me, and it just felt like a lot of anger and sadness lingered. I wasn't surprised, because then I learned that Mouth has so many unmarked and desecrated graves.
(I took a photo of this tombstone because it literally just said "mother" on it. It was quite eerie. But they were lucky enough to even have a tombstone at all, compared to hundreds of others buried underneath the marked graves...) And then came my second experience: a persistent negative energy. A month ago, my husband and I got a new apartment for just the two of us. This is where we reside now. On the first night, he had to work so I was left here alone with our dog. I went to bed, but my sleep was disrupted by a strong sleep paralysis. I was stuck seeing a vision of a dark, looming figure above me, holding my head steady. I wanted to open my eyes but I couldn't, it felt like my eyelids were sealed shut. In the split second that I managed to open my eyes, I saw my dog staring at my general direction, growling. And then I felt the dark "figure" grab me by the wrists and pull me violently through the bedroom door and out of the room. This didn't physically happen, but it was so strong that it felt like somewhere between dream and reality. When I finally managed to wake myself up, I didn't sleep until the next night; and I made sure I performed a cleansing of the entire apartment, leading me to my search for knowledge.
(My dog, Romeo. He's 15, almost completely blind and deaf.) At the time, I barely knew anything about the Craft. I did a bit of research on cleansing, learned about sage smudge sticks, and with limited resources I ended up getting sage incense from Meijer (Haha!). That was all I had to work with, but it was enough. The negative energy never came back. Eventually, my husband and I found out that the guy who had previously lived in our apartment was evicted from not being able to pay rent for months. I can only assume that he manifested so much negative energy in this space at the time he was here... Because the dark "figure" felt heavy with anger, telling me I wasn't welcome, quite literally pushing me out the door. Perhaps he wasn't ready to leave...
(The incense I bought. Relatively inexpensive. If I remember correctly it was less than $10.00) Soon after this happened, I got a Youtube recommendation for The Witch of Wonderlust. I was kinda surprised by it because I've never watched anything witchy on Youtube before. At first I laughed about it with my husband (my ignorant, skeptical self, haha!). But I also couldn't deny that there was a strong calling, telling me to delve into it... There was just a calling that it was time for spellcasting... I couldn't explain it. Despite my hesitations, I followed my intuition. Lo and behold, I did my first spell and it immediately manifested. Since then, I made sure I did my little rituals on a daily basis; and although I feared being judged and ostracized, I've opened up to my husband about my spiritual change of heart. Turns out, he's also leaned towards Wicca and even thought about getting a protection rune tattooed on himself. To top it off, he just told me that he has a couple of Wiccan friends, and one of them is even a Wiccan priest who had offered him spiritual guidance - waaaaaay before he even met me. What are the odds, right? I for one do not believe in coincidence, so I took this as a sign to pursue my Craft seriously. And as I further reflected on my Christian upbringing, I realize that Wicca isn't very different from everything I've practiced after all. The ceremonies, rituals, offerings, prayers - both spiritual paths seem to have the same backbone. And when you really think about it, all the religions in the world have commonalities between them. It dawned on me that as long as I practice my faith ethically, my spiritual life is not bound by its name; but rather defined by its purpose. Thus, my official witchy journey has begun. What's your story?