I have a boyfriend who is very loving and supportive. We've been through a lot together and our relationship is very strong. We both feel like if we have a problem we can talk through it and resolve it, but we also share our raw opinions most of the time. He's a pretty firm atheist and is opposed to most spiritual practices/ traditions/ religions. And that's fine with me, I don't need him to change his beliefs for me, but I'd be happier if he were more supportive of mine. Idk if this forum is the right place to ask something like this but since y'all are witches I thought maybe someone else might know what I'm "going through".
Basically anytime I'm like excited enough about something witchy that I want to talk about it and share it with him, he's like, "Ok... it's not real though haha".
This isn't something I would break up with him for, it's just something annoying that he does. I just feel like even if he doesn't believe in what I do, he should still like, not laugh at me for it you know? I just wish I could like work a spell that he like witnesses and then later on when he sees my spell manifest he starts to believe in me(?) or have this happen slowly over time I suppose.
Does anyone else have any similar experiences or comments?
Thanks! <3
Your relationship sounds a lot like mine! I've been with my boyfriend for 11 years now, and we have a great, amazing relationship. But we are complete opposites when it comes to our spirituality. For example, he has none. Doesn't believe in God, Ghosts, The Universe, Energy, etc, etc. In fact, I've never even told him to his face that I'm a witch even though it's kind of obvious with my books, crystals, sage, and everything else I own.
One of the best things I've learned is that your significant other can't be your everything. And by that I mean, your shopping partner, your dancing partner, your spiritual buddy, etc. Does that make sense? I don't honestly share a single thing with my boyfriend about what I do, or what I believe, unless he directly asks...which he's never done. lol
I think having a friend that's a witch or spiritual, or using this forum as a place to share those things is a better, more fulfilling way. We're all so different and expecting him to be excited or see things as you do is just not realistic and will always end up in disappointment.
I hope that helps. I might have rambled on. haha
Ah well said thank you! That makes me feel a lot better actually. It's funny how people with such different beliefs can still end up together for the long haul. Low-key I also just kinda feel grateful that the person I love happened to not be completely terrified of witchcraft. Like it could be worse lol.
My husband and I have been together for going on 13 years and our relationship is basically the same. Though mine is more a spirituality agnostic and magick skeptic. That's actually one of the reasons I've searched high and low for a comunity (here's to hoping this is "the one"!) Because we may share everything else but not this.
That being said... Merryn, I think you need to have a talk about respect with your bf. Even if he doesn't believe he doesn't have to be mocking about it. Even if it's just "I know you don't believe it's real, but you don't have to say it out loud everytime I bring it up." I have a friend like that and it sucks because it feels like he is criticizing my intelligence and sanity and that isn't nessisary.
I am a 17 going on 18 year old baby broom closet witch that used to be Christian in a relationship with a surprisingly supportive Christian. So it’s kinda hard for my boyfriend to get used to my new path just like I’m trying to get used to it. It’s a weird new path and it’s very exciting yet it’s hard to support him and his family when I’m over there for dinner because they are praying over the food in gods name out loud yet I’m praying over it in Gaia’s name silently... it’s a struggle, and honestly I don’t think it’ll get any easier unless I move in with my boyfriend who said I could have a little building I’m the backyard of our home dedicated to My craft. I have so many plans for that building and I can’t wait to see them through. I know I didn’t really say anything helpful to you and your life but I guess The God and Goddess put this post here so I could get that off my chest. Thank you for listening whoever has. Blessed be my brother and/or sister in the craft.
Oh and he doesnt believe that what I follow is true, forgot to add that in... lol
I really hope things get better for you soon! Also it's great that your boyfriend is supportive even if he doesn't believe.
Also it kind of sucks to pretend to be christian sometimes just for acceptance and to stay in the broom closet so that you don't become ostracized and all, it sounds like we both have to do that sometimes. On the other hand it's pretty funny to pretend to be super christian in an ironic way because no one else knows the truth of what you believe :p.
Praying to a different god while giving thanks gets easier as you get older and practice longer. It is all about respect and thanking the spirits/gods for our blessings. Even amungst pagans, if you can accept that someone else is thanking Frey and a third thanking Pan or just "Goddess" then sitting at a table where a fourth might be thanking Jesus isn't any different.
Yup, same here. My husband is somewhat squarely footed in science - whatever can't be seen or proven is simply not real to him. But I am fortunate that he is a very giving and supportive person who allows me to fully believe and practice what I want to if it doesn't us any harm. But he does connect to manifestation and quantum mechanics. So he sometimes even participates if it's a 'setting my intentions' ritual at Solstice. But of course sometimes I wonder.... how would it be if I was completely free to explore further than I am able to while being in a relationship. I am limited by location - us needing to agree about where we want to live and travel. So there's a lot of missed opportunities for me to grow and develop myself and my craft, and connect with my tribe.
That's great that your husband participates with you in little things like intention setting rituals!
I'm not sure what you mean by what you said in your second paragraph but may fortune favor you on your path. (At least we have the internet).
I can really understand this. My boyfriend also considers himself an agnostic atheist (through he can be open for things not proven, like, he has said he doesn't believe in ghosts, but also doesn't disprove of it because of the many many stories surrounding ghosts and spirits).
I've never really told him I'm practicing witchcraft, I something do it right in front of him and he just doesn't know because he doesn't consider it witchy, just lighting a candle or me collecting weird things.
The one thing I would tell him if he asks, or if I'm comfortable enough, is just tell him I can't prove anything, but it's something that helps me relax and create space in mind to handle certain situations. I've often noticed that it's the name witch and spell and wand is what scare people away, I'd tried to explain it more through what it means to me, and what it gives me.
this may not help but ill throw my story into the mix , 34 year old pagan heathen male been practicing things of pre-Christian northern/germanic polytheistic nature (including things that persisted during medieval times despite conversion pressure) for about 16 years, also heavily subscribing to modern science. This was built apon such things as the parallels between ragnarok and the big bang theory. I have found that practicing and just ignoring others discouraging opinions is best. People are generally just jealous of others that are trying to enlighten themselves in a way they don't understand.
now to the fun part the reaction to discovery; when telling girlfriends about this belief system I have developed I get 3 general levels of reactions 1 interest/acceptance 2 disgust or fear due to their religious beliefs 3 or just flat out think I'm crazy, stupid or dangerous because talk to odhinn, freya or thor or cast runes/spells. what I have found is go with your gut do what you do and if they are worth your time, energy, and attention the universe will compel them to stay and either want to participate in some way or just co-exist in the same space, and if they continue to go against things just do your thing and they will usually just find their own way out they say there is about 7.7 billion people on the planet so your odds are pretty good, I followed this philosophy and had about an 8 month turn around time but it finally worked and have been with the same person for 4 years
trying to change a persons opinion or convince them dosent really work because you will lose your focus on the growth of your own path, Also from a male perspective if he is to blind to see that we only have direct control of a small percentage of our brains, and seeking control of more is a fruitless endeavor he is weak and not worthy of being associated with someone with such power, enough of my ranting
fun fact I've never shared my story on this subject nor many others, I've been very secretive/ anti social with these things for a long time, but am really trying to share experiences and knowledge with others