hi! i'm new to spell work - i always felt drawn to it, but operated from a perspective of scarcity (i.e. everyone gets the gifts/energy they're given and casting a spell is taking that away from someone it already belonged to, and i would certainly punished for taking away someone's good fortune). i recently started exploring my own healing and spirituality, and found candle spells to be extremely comforting, both in feeling powerful in my own life and also as a tool to focus my new meditation practice like a laser.
i've read that doubt, worry, or anxiety can weaken the effects of a strong spell and i'm not sure if my grief is a part of that - i worked my first candle spell not long ago, and felt an incredible response from the universe, so i think that, even if it requires patience, it's working. however, i'm in a state of mourning right now and wake up every day with some amount of anxiety or sadness. would that sort of feeling count as doubt in the spell?
i've also read contradictory opinions on how many candles you might light for a specific situation; some folks say light your one candle and then move on with confidence that the intention is set and some folks say light a candle every couple of days or every week until the result manifests. i'm trying to heal an extremely challenging wound, so i think a lot of work is necessary - one candle or many?
quick backstory as to the kind of spells i'm looking at:
my long term partner of almost a decade ended our relationship over this summer, but he still couldn't say why exactly. (i suspect it's the classic: Fear.) his family has never been supportive of our relationship and when he expressed some doubts, they really injected him with a lot of bad advice, which led to him making the breakup extreme and dramatic in order for him to walk away. he's currently not speaking to me, which is hard, but also necessary for him to figure some important things out for himself, i think, and it made the move out of our apartment challenging to say the least. i'm working on myself right now, but i also want to help heal him and give him courage to reach out to me. ideally, yes, i would love to get back together, but i think that THAT would happen as a result of communication and therapy. i just want to remove some of the barriers that are keeping us from being able to at least talk or text.
super excited to dip my toes into a/some communities! i'm don't have a permanent home right now, so my supplies are small, but i've been very drawn to kitchen spells and herb information, i've always been a cook therapist. :) i found a free beginner's workshop in my neighborhood this weekend, and i'm very excited to learn all the things!