I am very new to witchcraft and one of the things that seems to be the most difficult for me is the whole concept of believing that your intention will manifest. I've seen all over the place that this is one of the most important parts of spellcasting, and that without it you just won't get results. The problem: I struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. For those of you who don't know much about how OCD actually works, let me give you the short version.
Everyone gets irrational thoughts. It's part of how the brain works. They're the weird thoughts that pop into your head like "what if I drove off the road right now" or "what if I touched something today that had a deadly germ on it". A normal brain will filter out these thoughts and throw them in the trash, because they are not worth worrying about. An OCD brain has a broken filter. The irrational thoughts bypass the part of the brain that reminds you what is and isn't important, and start to cause anxiety (the obsession) which can be solved by performing a task (the compulsion). Not long after the anxiety has subsided though, it comes back, requiring you to perform the task again. This creates a cycle of anxiety and compulsions (the disorder) that the person suffering can't stop without outside help (medication or therapy, usually).
Now, what does this have to do with witchcraft? My personal obsessions revolve around two things: doing the right thing, and being absolutely certain. While the more harmful side of my OCD is controlled with treatment, I still struggle with a lot of fear that I am doing things wrong. My irrational thoughts tell me that I have to be certain, and since that is impossible, I find myself in a constant state of doubt. Usually my doubts have to do with religion, morals, and beliefs. How do I know what to believe if I can never be certain?
Herein lies the problem. To cast a spell, I have to be able to believe that it will succeed. But I can't - I try to make myself believe, but that constant fear in the back of my head just won't go away. I haven't tried casting anything yet because I've only just started my journey, but I am worried that when the time comes I won't be able to actually manifest anything. Has anyone else experienced something like this?
I have mild OCD/chronic anxiety and I know it shows up a bit differently for all of us, but one of the things that really got me at the beginning was the idea that if I accidently think negative thoughts, they will manifest instead of the positive intentions. So let me just tell you, uncontrollable thought spirals due to mental illness have nothing to you with spellwork. It is the intentions that you voluntarily think that you work into a spell. So say you make a money bowl with the intention of bringing abundance into your life. But later you get stressed about money and the thought spiral takes you to where you can't pay rent and are living in your car homeless. Then you can see your money bowl and remember, "I am calling in abundance." That's where the magic happens, bringing you back to your intention. The more you repeat your intention, the more you can convince your brain to believe it. I am not of the school of thought that you have to believe it while you're doing it, but that repeating it will cause you to start believing it. That's why I am such a fan of crafting spellwork like jars, bowls, oils, ect because it's something I can see and remember what I'm trying to manifest. (And yes, I do really have a money bowl and it has manifested in several ways using this method)
That makes me feel so much better. It's great to hear from someone else who struggles with this kind of thing. Intrusive thoughts are really frustrating, but I'm really glad that I don't have to worry about them affecting my spellwork. Thank you so much!
Could you recommend crafting
spell work you use?
I have the same issue.... im so afraid of something bad happenin that i haven't even cast my first spell yet.... I struggle with negative thoughts and of course it doesnt help that most of the people that i work with and come in contact with are very negative people and only want people to fail so that they look better. Anyone have any thoughts what i should do?
I think witchcraft can be exactly what you need to practice to control your OCD. The act of putting your intention into your craft can be really empowering, giving yourself the title to decide how it’s going to affect the spell. The more you practice the more comfortable you will feel with your spells, try with simple things first and everything should go smoothly, I wish you the best ✨